My Dark Side – Being Paranormal

April 25, 2011 at 5:23 am (Uncategorized)

 It’s always been there, looming in the shadows, taunting me with twisted musings.

           My dark side.

Outwardly, I’m an average-looking girl, sprightly at times, but mostly quiet.  I blend into crowds rather nicely, and can weave myself into conversations that would make Emily Post proud.  But venture inside my head and you’ll find a wicked brew of demon tales and vampire trysts, churning with desperation for a blank page to be unleashed. 

Having grown up with a perfectly normal childhood, there was nothing to predispose me to my nefarious fantasies of unworldly beings.  I played sports in school, got good grades, had a tight entourage of friends.  My parents were supportive and tolerant; both artists themselves who encouraged individuality.  Mine was the perfect environment for supernatural creativity, and yet, I chose to keep it tucked away, deep within the recesses of silent reverie.  I quietly devoured gothic poems, short stories and novels by writers like Mary Shelley and Edgar Allan Poe.  About the age of seventeen, I finally tapped into the dark cellar of my mind and wrote down a ghostly short story with a little inspiration after having watched The Crow for the first time.  I was captivated by the dark and ominous essence of the movie; and how cool being paranormal could be.

I believe the world is split into 2 classes: those who are willing to give in to the implausible, and those who are not.  On one side of the looking glass, exists a class of fanatics who are perfectly comfortable getting lost in fantasy realms of fictitious characters and hope that somewhere in the world, an Edward Cullen awaits them; on the other side is a separate class that thinks the first class is crazy.  The latter is comprised of those who read the newspaper every Sunday, indulge in self-help books, keep a balanced checkbook and a meticulous house.  I fall into the former category. 

But thanks to authors like J.K. Rowling and Stephenie Meyer, who have brilliantly merged the classes of readers with world-wide bestselling novels, everyone can admit to a little infatuation with fantasy and the paranormal.  They’ve transformed characters long deemed pernicious and infused them with hominal qualities worthy of a respectable protagonist.  Who could possibly condemn a young man willing to place his immortality on the line for the love of a frail human teenager?

Darkness has a new face that no longer needs to hide away in nightmares and B-rated movies.  And those prone to weakness from its beguiling attributes can obsess freely without scrutiny.  Dark is the opposite of light, but equally beautiful and seldom understood. 

The baleful alter-ego to my prim and proper existence has always been writing.  It is my outlet.  The balance within that likes to torment my inner Pollyanna by sinking its fangs into her flawless, snow white neck.

How do you express your dark side?


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Baby Steps

April 17, 2011 at 1:00 am (Uncategorized)

If you’re an introvert like me, you know the feeling:  standing at the podium with a throng of captivated listeners, eagerly waiting for the first word.  Your hands tremble in time to the frantic racing of your pulse.  Dryness forms in your mouth and seeps down the back of your throat until every swallow becomes a cacophonous gulp.  And still they wait, while nerve endings in your muscles sever ties, leaving you weak and ready to collapse. 

When you finally speak, the words have to be forced past the lump in your throat.  You’re regurgitating monologue entirely from memory, praying that you don’t inadvertently confess that you’re imagining the entire audience buck naked.  Hoping that the one person in the crowd you’d like to see naked isn’t reading that expression on your face at this moment.

I’ve always been avoidant of the spotlight; cowering away from large crowds and retreating to the solitude that brings me comfort.  So why would I try to publish a book?  Everything about book publishing screams scrutinizing attention:  from the editor, to the blogger and finally the end-consumer.

The beauty of social networking is having the masses at your fingertips, without actually having to stand at the podium.  Don’t get me wrong, blogging and tweeting has its own associated terrors, but at least you don’t get to see me wavering over the keyboard.  I’ve had a difficult time wrapping my head around the idea that someone somewhere in the world gives a damn about what I have to say.  Okay, some still don’t.  But for the few that do, if nothing else, blogging and tweeting provides insight into the baby steps that all aspiring authors must take.  So for all you fellow introverts:  get out there.  Crawl out of the depths of your dark shell, brush the dust off and make some friends.

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Welcome to my world

April 7, 2011 at 10:11 am (Uncategorized)

I’m new to blogging and social networking, but for a decent writer who wants to be a great writer, its essential.  My goal is to get published.  This is my journey into the world of obsessive editing, query letters, rejection, reviews and hopefully at the end of it all, a really intriguing novel.

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